October 28th, 2024
She Just Can’t Help It
Candidate Fumblina Ferris just can’t help it. She is a congenital liar, has been a liar her whole life, and her bold lying is the primary driver that has launched and elevated her career. Now, she is calling her opponent a fascist, murderous, dictator, like a combination of Hitler, Stalin, Henry VIII, Caligula, and Vlad the Impaler. She has no facts, none whatsoever, that back up her claim that her opponent, Mr. Frump, has impaled a single political rival, or beheaded a nasty TV anchor-person. Nevertheless, she continues to run her Fake News TV commercials. The latest one includes an audio clip of Frump’s former chief of staff who was fired for being a total bozo. In the clip, the man says he was once threatened by Frump who said he would cut off his genitalia if he ever embarrasses him again in front of a Boy Scout troop by claiming he once applied to be a Girl Scout.
Ferris has also lied about Frump’s policies by stating that he favors tax breaks for people who actually pay taxes, and tax increases for people who don’t pay any tax at all. Frump has repeatedly said that he feels the whole tax system needs an enema and has never said he favors one group of tax evaders over another.
Ferris further claims that Frump’s tax enema would not even be covered by his proposed Health Insurance policy, which negates pre-existing conditions. Again, Frump says it’s all a big lie, and he would make enemas available to all.
At a Town Hall meeting, Ms. Ferris claimed that Mr. Frump wants to take away your toilets and replace them with outhouses. Of course, there has been zero corroborating evidence on this toilet/outhouse claim, but she kept pressing the issue with her small Town Hall audience. At one point she even claimed that Frump is anti-TP and is a non-wiper, to the horror of the audience. Another lie.
Fortunately, the election is happening soon, and all this nonsense will come to an end. We will all soon go back to watching Insurance commercials on TV and figure out how to save 15% on our rates.
