December 17th, 2022
Pelosi: New Role as Ms. Irrelevant
There has been much speculation on how Nancy Pelosi will adapt to her new role as Ms. Irrelevant. She has, after all, relished her previous role as The Most Hated Speaker of the House in history. She has often said that it is important to be seen as a Hateful Person, when you’re a stupid, ornery little pip squeak, who could only demonstrate her power by ripping up a President’s State of the Union speech on national TV. “You gotta make a name for yourself,” she would say, “when everyone sees you as an insignificant moron. Once I ripped up that speech, people began to recognize me as a person to be reckoned with.”
Many people feel that now she will have time to go back to her home district in San Francisco, and do something to turn that place into something other than the piss hole it has become in recent years. The city has become inundated with crime… with car jackings, shoplifting, and public urination totally out of control. Pelosi has dismissed these issues as being minor in nature, even showing solidarity with the rapidly growing vagrant population by urinating in public herself.
In the short term, however, she plans to take on the role of Chief Agitator representing the Liberal Minority in the House. She understands that she will be unable to get her Socialist agenda passed through Congress now, but will do all she can to disrupt Republicans and create as much chaos as possible. After all, that is what a Ms. Irrelevant is expected to do.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction. Anyone could have figured that out, right?
