July 19th, 2020
Even More Protests
Seeing the success of the Students Protesting Against Masks (SPAM) protest march, another group of gripers formed to rally against the mask-wearing requirement. The Citizens Lobbying Against Masks (CLAM) are an older throng of unhappy campers, claiming that masks make it difficult to breathe, and fog up their reading glasses. Furthermore, they say that they heard that masks do not help ward off the virus anyway, since a virus is so small that it could easily pass through the weave. A number of protestors took off their masks, and used their BBQ grille lighters to set them on fire, to the cheer of the crowd.
Mid-way through the rally, one of the protestors started wildly coughing, almost as if hacking up a lung. This sent the other protestors into a screamy panic. Some flopped down flat on the ground and buried their faces in the grass. Others dashed away, and climbed trees to get away from the estimated 16 million germs expelled by the coughing maniac. One person put on his charred mask and burnt his face. A nearby taco truck closed his windows, packed it up, and moved across town, with condiments flying every which way as he sped off.
About one hour later, a professor from nearby Bumfunk College, who had been part of the CLAM rally earlier, took some measurements of the air at Ground Zero, and announced all was clear, and the rally could continue. Unfortunately, by that time, everyone had gone home to shower down.
By the end of the day, the cougher had been tested for COVID, and results came out negative for the virus. The CLAM organizer stated that she was happy and relieved at the test result, and planned to restage the protest rally, possibly next month. She said they would do a better job screening participants to exclude any “cougher types” next time.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, to the best of our knowledge.
