February 13th, 2020
Pelosi Feels Heat Again
Nancy Pelosi is continuing to feel heat from citizens for her disrespectful act of ripping up the copy of the President’s State of the Union speech in front of a national audience. She claimed that the speech was full of lies. When asked whether the President’s claims that the country is experiencing exemplary GDP growth, record low unemployment, across the board wage increases, major improvements in trade deals, a spike in capital investment by companies that brought jobs back into the country, and skyrocketing 70% growth in people’s 401K retirement accounts were all “a bunch of lies,” she responded that she was unfamiliar with that kind of detail. She said she leaves financial mumbo-jumbo analysis jazz to her staff people…unfortunately, most of them were taking personal leaves of absence that week. “I am certain, when they come back to work, that they will find some exaggerations in the stated figures. After all, most of my staff took math in high school, so are pretty good with, you know, numbers and stuff.”
Some people wondered why all the Democrats in the State of the Union audience looked so glum, refused to applaud at the booming economy numbers, snarled at the prospect of an even-better 2020 outlook. One Democrat attendee admitted that she was sternly instructed by her leadership to put on a piss-face, and make occasional howls and groans during the speech. It was explained to her that a lot of people in the country still do not have health insurance. When she mentioned that that’s probably because they have chosen not to buy it, her leader responded, no, it’s because people just hate the TrumpCare program. A fellow Democrat poked the leader in the side and told her that there is no TrumpCare… it’s all still ObamaCare.
“Yeah, but if it was TrumpCare, it would be bad,” the Democratic leader responded.
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, but they usually sound pretty real.
