Posts Tagged ‘it takes a village’
November 30th, 2011 Posted 1:12 am
The 10th lesson in Obamanomics is the simple mantra that sums it all up: Sharing is Caring. This simply pulls together the “Fair share” concept with the “It takes a Village” concept, and throws a little kumbaya group-sing togetherness into a great big pot of frothy broth…where no one is better than anyone else, no one is a jerkoff, and no one is every penalized just because they’re a little bit lazy or cherish their sluff-off time. Even lazies need to be cared for, and nurtured…and before you know it, those loafers will see the light, and want to participate in work and other noble endeavors. All they need is a little love. All they ever needed was a little love.
All policies and programs must then fit with the Sharing is Caring basic philosophy. As such, the Administration has commissioned a Secretary of Love Sharing to oversee all programs at the national and local level to ensure they are not Anti-Love in any way, shape or form. Any threats to Love will receive an advanced pre-veto, to squelch needless work on a bill that is destined for the s#!t can.
Programs that create more competition will generally be considered Anti-Love. In any competitive endeavor, there is always at least one loser…often multiple losers. The 65 team NCAA playoff system is a classic example, where 64 teams end up being branded “losers”, leaving the court dejected, upset, and unloved. Many top coaches have adopted the “Winning is the Only Thing” Vince Lombardi philosophy, thus making each and every loss an unacceptable, embarrasing piece of mal-execution. No good coaches or true fans can love a team who loses…and the cards are stacked against them. There are some rare exceptions, such as the Cubs, where fans, owners, and coaches are so mentally deranged that they love the team in spite of its chronic ineptness. But in the normal world, winning is essential, losing is the norm, and love is scarce. This is true of all forms of competition, and the reason in Obamanomics that it must be systematically snuffed out.
All new policies must be win-win, so that the Love flows evenly. The slightly discouraging thing is that almost never in nature is there a true win-win, so very few new policies are anticipated to germinate. Some anti-Obamanomists see the Love Connection as an advantage because it will grind to a halt all the rest of their goofy plans and programs. “I love the irony of this whole thing,” one opponent was overheard saying. “What a bunch of boobs!”
Disclaimer: All stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the love-infested ones.