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Posts Tagged ‘bin Laden’

The exclusive interview with the president

Reporter:  Sir, what would you say are some of your biggest accomplishments so far?

President:  Well….hmmmm….well we killed bin Laden.

Reporter:  That’s true.  Nice job.  Now what about the economy?  Unemployment is much higher than when you took office.  The dollar is as weak as my grammaw’s bicep, consumer confidence has gone from low to sub-pathetic, the stock market is on the verge of another collapsecution, deficit spending is like an ex-wife’s one last credit card binge.

President:  Yeah, but we killed bin Laden…boom, gone.

Reporter:  Great.  What about foreign policy?  Civil wars breaking out in Libya, the Mideast, many countries.   We are committing more and more troops with no real mission.  Greece, Italy, Spain ready to go to Dumpsterville.

President:  Okay.  But the world is safer without bin Laden.

Reporter:  Right.  Let’s get back to your reckless spending…so-called stimulus fiasco that had a profound anti-stimulus impact, irresponsible spending that appears to do nothing whatsoever to help the economy get well but seems to be helping your inner circle buddy system.  How do you respond to this utter failure that future generations will curse you for?

President:  I believe the stock market went up a couple points when we snuffed-out bin Laden.

Reporter:  Maybe.  But I was speaking of running up trillions in new deficits that can probably never be paid at the rate you’re going.  Debts that are incomprehensible to our citizens and the world community.

President: Will get better now that that nasty bin Laden is gone.  Did you see the pictures?  Yuck!!  It was either kill him or get him a makeover…wow.  Makeup, please…better wear gloves.  Yikes.

Reporter:  Yes, well when will it start getting better?  You’ve been in office 2.5 years, Mr. President and all you can say you accomplished is a poached bin Laden casserole.

President:  Why do you say “all”?  Bin Laden was a big deal.  And we got him.  Yes we did.  Boom, bang, right in the snoot.  Poof, gone, swimming with the fishes…glug, glug, glug.

Reporter:  Yes, sir.  How about job growth?  What are you planning to do to get jobs for people who are out of work, have been out of work, their factories closing down?

President:  There’d be a lot fewer jobs available if that bin Laden guy was still around.  A lot fewer.  He would have been bombing factories.  But don’t you worry.  We got him.  Factories are safe once again.  Yes…you’re welcome.

Reporter:  Simplifying the government?  Reforming a government that won’t bankrupt our kids and grandkids?  Putting lazies to work?  Any thought??

President:  Bin Laden, bin Laden, bin Laden.  Any more questions?  Thanks.  That’s a wrap.  I gotta take a whiz.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction.  Plain and simple.