bizarreville

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Archive for March 23rd, 2012

Oil from Oklahoma

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March 23rd, 2012 Posted 11:17 am

The President flipped his position yesterday, and approved the Keystone Pipeline project from Oklahoma to Texas in an effort to counter the charges that he has become totally out-to-lunch on the Energy price crisis.  He told supporters that this project would allow inexpensive crude oil from Canada to be pumped down to large oil refineries in Texas, reducing the need to be dependent on MidEast oil, and ultimately bringing down gas prices at the pump.

One reporter at the news conference asked the President if he knew where Oklahoma was on the map versus, say, Canada.  “Of course I know,” he replied.  “I took a geography class in the 5th grade.  It is up there in the middle of Canada, one of those providences up there somewhere.”

“Sir, I believe you’re thinking of Ontario, not Oklahoma,” the reporter replied.  “True, they both begin with the letter ‘O’, so that may have been what confused you.  Confuses a lot of people.  Oklahoma is a state near Texas.  Sorta looks like a pot or a pan, like the Little Dipper constellation.”

“Oh, you’re right.  I apologize on behalf of all the citizens in our country for creating this Naming Confusion.  Those idiots who came up with the names of states early in our nation are to blame.  They came up with names that make no sense.  Then they took other states and named them New This, and New That.  Who can keep track of all those New states?  Where are the ‘Old’ versions of the states, can anyone tell me?  Exactly.  Just stupid.  I’ll see to it that this Oklahoma confusion is corrected right away.  May change the name to Yoklahoma, so that it doesn’t continually be confused with Ontario.  We’ll get to work on it.”

“Yoklahoma?  Are you serious?  Yoklahoma?  Old Jersey?  Old York?”

“Maybe you’re right.  Old Jersey sounds like something stinking up the bottom of your clothes hamper.  May avoid that one.”

The President had to rush off to another fund-raising event, and had to cut-off further debate about state naming, but he said he would form a committee to develop recommendations and timetables.

 

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