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Archive for March 3rd, 2010

Hard heads getting tossed under the bus

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March 3rd, 2010 Posted 12:34 am

Progressive Democratic leaders have now begun taking reservations for spots underneath the Obamacare Bus.  The prime spots are expected to go fast, but the slots under the crushing weight of the bus tires will be held aside for those congressmen with the hardest heads and/or pre-existing brain damage. 

bus2The king of hard heads, Harry Reid, has a special reservation under the front wheels, paid for by the President himself.  “Bring it on, baby,” Reid said.  “Bring on the Big Foot Bus, I don’t care….I’m ready and willing.”  Doctors have pointed out that Reid suffers from a variety of brain maladies already, and no additional head trauma could make him much worse.

The parade line for the bus crush had lengthened as the current health care poll results were released over the weekend.  Now 75% of citizens want the gimmick-ridden Obamacare program stopped or started over.  But one congressperson had said that she had just talked to one old woman in Syracuse who encouraged her to stay the course.  She cited that her best friend’s 3rd cousin’s housekeeper who smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day died from lung cancer because she couldn’t get quick treatment for her black lung.  The congressperson claims that was enough to convince her to keep the fight for Obamacare to the bitter end…”irrespective of your fudged poll numbers suggesting people think the whole program is lame.”

Liberal inner circle members of Obama’s staff have continued to load more and more sandbags onto the Obamacare wagon.  But they claim the way the Obamacare bus suspension is designed, no extra weight is being actually transferred to the tires and wheels.  One senator questioned the logic of that statement, but was promptly told to shut up, and slide under the bus, or he would find himself losing in his own primary.

Many blue dogs sense that their end is near, but are hoping against hope that some magic dust will be scarfed up by their Leaders that will prevent them from being crushed by the bus’ 12,000- pound weight.  They have been led astray before.  They have been led to believe in the Tooth Fairy, the caped crusader, and Wilma Flintstone by their “inspired” leaders in the past, only to find out much later that feet-propelled cars are totally impractical…and the TF pays absolutely nothing for broken dentures under pillows.

The bus crushing could get gruesome, but many could conceivably survive.  Skull structure experts warn all audience viewers that they should not try this at home.  They point out that these people are professional hard heads with extra skull thickness, allowing them to resist pressure more than most normal humans.  “Do not throw yourself or your buddy under such a bus unless you are one of these bonefide hard heads.”


Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even ones that seem pretty real.