Archive for February 27th, 2010
February 27th, 2010 Posted 10:26 pm
The administration announced today that Keith Uberman, famous sports anchor-turned-leftomaniac, has been appointed to the new position of Propoganda Ministry Czar. He will be able to keep his current position as angry commentator and socialist bureau chief at MS-NBC.
The administration spokesman said that the President has been a big fan of Uberman’s snappy, passionate, over-the-top blathermanship of the extreme liberal agenda. They see a role for Uberman in creating a series of films, television specials, commercials, and other media delights that will better persuade the naive public to their way of thinking, the proper way of thinking.
“We have tried and tried and tried to explain to citizens the wonderful benefits of socializing medicine, nationalizing industry, sharing wealth, and taxing the piss out of anyone who earns a decent salary…but, I guess, the citizens are just too darn thick-skulled to understand it,” the spokesman said. “But we blame ourselves for not delivering a clearer message that can be understood by people who are, quite frankly, less intelligently-endowed than us. That’s where Uberman comes in. He’ll take pages out of the best propogandists in world history, and apply it to the issues of today. And to work with him, we will choose from a long list of liberal Hollywood-types to score the background music to tug those emotional strings of the viewers.”
MS-NBC did not offer much comment except to say that occasional loss of Uberman’s service is not expected to have much impact on audience share. “We may just put a cardboard cut-out of his upper body in his seat, and have a mic’ed impersonator offstage delivering his monologue commentaries. We’ve tested that concept with focus groups of typical MS-NBC viewers, and honestly they can’t even tell the difference. We may try to add that Clutch Cargo lip movement special effect to help make it look even more real.”
A spokesman for Conservatives was asked to comment, and said he remembered how funny Uberman was as a sports anchor on ESPN. When asked about his shift over to hard-left commentary, he said that they all thought he’s just been kidding… just being a deadpan sarcastic wisenheimer all this time. “You mean he’s actually being serious with all that liberal drivvel?? Ha, ha, ha, ha…could have fooled me!”
Disclaimer: all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even the ones that seem so real.