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Archive for September 7th, 2009

Health Care: The Public Option

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September 7th, 2009 Posted 5:13 pm

Bizarreville is about ready to offer a Public Option (PO) to its citizens so that everyone has some level of health insurance.  Leaders would really like just a single payer government-run system, but since that is not palatable with 93% of the people who are already happy with their health care, they decided to call it an “option”.  That way, you have a  choice of keeping your beloved plan, or going with the PO…or so goes the theory.

The Bizarreville leaders would normally listen to their citizens.  But in this case, the Leaders clearly know best, so they have invoked issuing the dreaded Official Bizarreville Brush-Off Proclamation, which reads:


The major businesses in Bizarreville love the PO concept.  In public, they say they love Choice, because choice/options/freedom is what has made Bizarreville great.  But in private, they laugh and laugh.  They laugh as they plot-out quickly dumping their Health Care plan, and telling their people they must go with the PO.  The cost savings are so huge that the execs are hiring new janitors just to swab-up their puddles of drooling-at-the-mouth.  One exec was quoted saying: “Yeee hawwww.  Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop…uh huh, uh huh, uh, huh,”  before he collapsed in shear excitement.  An unnamed manager from one of Bizarreville’s largest companies, The General Deflabenator Company, said that the firm has already started processing cancellation notices with its Health provider, in anticipation of quick passage of the new bill.  “We were wondering how to get out from under these spiralling health care costs, and now the Leaders have handed us the solution on a silver platter.  Yeah, baby.”

When asked about the fact that their employees might not get as good health service, have to wait in lines, be denied certain medical treatments, etc., he responded:  “Pffft…hey man, ain’t my problem no more.  Here’s a quarter.  Go call your caring Leader.”

There have been a few protest gatherings, but they have fizzled out after Leaders started calling them Commies, Anti-Bizarros, and Kids who just need their diapers changed.  The Leaders also started taking down names, and that pretty much freaked-out the rest of the protesters.  “Guess we’ll just have to be sure and stay healthy,” said one of the citizens as she headed home.